Justin Bieber’s been roasted hard (and we mean hard!).
At last night’s Comedy Centraly Roast of Justin Bieber, the 21-year-old singer’s celeb friends let him have it hard. Comedians like Kevin Hart, Jeff Ross, Natasha Leggero, Pete Davidson and celebs like Martha Stewart, Shaquille O’Neal, Snoop Dogg and Ludacris let the controversy-prone star have it. Will Ferrell even showed up in Anchorman costume! Without further adieu, here are some of the best jokes about the controversial pop star.
• “You’re about to get f–ked harder than Orlando Bloom fucked Selena Gomez.”
• “You acted so much like a pu–y on the show that Ellen [DeGeneres] tried to eat you.”
• “It seems like only yesterday you were discovered on the YouTube. Time flies when you’re a piece of s–t.”
• “Selena Gomez had to f–k you. She is literally the least lucky Selena in show business.”
• “Justin Bieber really does have it all. I’m serious. He has a dick and a pu–y.”
• “My castmate on SNL, Kate McKinnon, does a perfect impression of Justin. Right down to the clit.”
• “You gotta give it up for Justin. He started from the bottom and he’s still a bottom.”
• “Justin’s Canadian. He’s actually considered America because no Canadian’s ever been this much of an a–hole.”
• “There’s even a wax figure of Justin in Madame Tussauds in London. I’ve seen it, he’s face down in a wax Usher’s lap.”
• “Selena Gomez wanted to be here but she’s dating men now. Is it true you dumped her because she grew a mustache before you?”
At the end of the night, Bieber got his chance to make a few jokes. “Luda, I knew you’d show up for me tonight,” he cracked. “I feel like I’ve known you my whole life but that’s just because you look like the Mister Potato Head had his kid.”
“He and I had a lot of hours making the song ‘Baby’ together. In fact, he told me it was the only baby he ever made on purpose,” he added. Burn!
The Biebs also made a heartfelt apology for his many controversies and questionable behaviors. “There was really no preparing me for this life. I was thrown into this at 12 years old,” Bieber said. “I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. There were moments I am proud of. And there are moments I am disappointed with myself for. But the things I have done don’t define who I am. I am kind-hearted person who loves people. And through it all, I have lost some of my best qualities. For that, I’m sorry.”
“I am looking forward to being someone you can all be proud of,” he added. “Someone close to me once said, ‘It’s how you rise from a fall that truly defines you as a man.’ I’m excited for that challenge. And I want to say thank you for taking this journey with me.”
The Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber airs Mar. 30 at 10 p.m.
Here’s a small teaser from Comedy Central
— Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) February 17, 2015