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Mr. Sulu Smacks Down Twilight: “It Is Really, Really Bad”

George Takei is boldly going where no one has gone before. Well, where no one has  gone before and come out not torn to shreds by the legions of Twi-hards.

You see, not so long ago in a galaxy not so far away, a war broke out between  two different but equally geeky enthusiastic factions, and the great Star  Wars vs. Star Trek debate was born.

Refusing to let a good feud die, both William  Shatner and Carrie  Fisher have recently stoked the flames of that fire, and now the  erstwhile Sulu has stepped up to put an end, once and for all, to the unending  dispute.

By urging both sides to unite in their disdain for the Twilight series.

“Fellow Star folks, cool it down and shut your big wormholes,”  implores Takei in a video uploaded to YouTube. “Each is  wonderful in its own  special way. What’s needed today now more than ever  is star peace, for there is  an ominous, mutual threat to all science  fiction. It’s called Twilight and it is really, really bad.”

The fighting words didn’t end there, and Takei went on to take down  Kristen  Stewart‘s brooding, Robert  Pattinson‘s, well, sparkling,  and—gasp!—even Taylor Lautner‘s  shirt-eschewing.

“Gone is any sense of heroism, camaraderie or epic battles. In its place, we have vampires that sparkle, moan and go to high school. Now, I’m not above  mixing in a little sex appeal to spice up the fantasy, but sci-fi fans be  warned, there are no great stories, characters or   profound life lessons to be  found in Twilight. Nooo…In Twilight, the only message that  rings through loud and clear is: ‘Does my boyfriend  like me?’

“Let us band together to combat this mutual threat.”

Uh, something tells us he may not be living so long or prosperously after Twilight fans catch wind of this.

 

 

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