Station 19 Season 6 Episode 11 Review: Could I Leave You?


We made some headway on the Beckett situation, which grew more tragic by the second.

The squad staged a mutiny on Station 19 Season 6 Episode 11 when Andy, with the others backing her, opted to defy Beckett’s orders and leadership in the field while combatting a fire at Tomas’ barbershop.

The ramifications of that moment could be overarching for all of them and a disturbing conclusion about Beckett.

Andy and the others were in a tough position for this one, and while one understands where Ross is coming from here, it’s hard to say what else they could’ve done differently during this situation.

Things have gotten progressively worse for Beckett, making them scarier for 19. How are they expected to put their lives on the line and in the hands of a leader they have no trust or faith in, who they know is drinking on the job?

Even if Beckett was cleared of wrongdoing after Cooper’s death, his drinking on the job has become a significant problem, one they can’t turn a blind eye to, and there comes the point where the red tape isn’t enough.

Ross was quick to say that she was handling things, and she was. Credit where it’s due, they’ve done wonders with improving Natasha’s character throughout the season, and it’s all we can ask for from this badass WOC navigating this position of power.

But just because Ross is on it now doesn’t change the fact that the squad has been dealing with this issue for a long time with no real progress.

It’s not a casual work issue to overlook or something as inconsequential or petty as people unable to work with Beckett because they simply don’t like him.

His behavior actively endangers their lives and that of the public, and they’ve gotten to a point where they cannot trust in his abilities, nor can they function properly.

Ross had her own way of doing things, and thankfully, the series has taken a great approach to showcase how she works angles in this job.

You’re not getting us killed today.


Ross is well aware that she’s not the poster child for those in her position, and she’s learned to navigate many situations and people. She’s very calculated and shrewd, and there’s a certain magic to how she can bend situations and people to her will without them realizing it, which makes her a fascinating character to watch in some cases.

We saw bits of that with how she spoke to the man investigating Beckett. And by the time she left that building, it sounded as though she arranged for more than one opinion on the issue because she knew that the original person would be too biased, caught up on some “Good old Boys” shtick, willing to overlook whatever Sean did.

And that was how Ross worked her angles to get something on the books, making it official and using the channels to get the desired result.

But her method would take some time, so you can’t fault the team for thinking on their feet. Unfortunately, however, it’ll likely be more attention on their insubordination and behavior, with their jobs hanging in the balance, than on Beckett.

It’s maddening how that works.

Ross just managed to convince this man that she operates within the same traditional sense of respect that he’s used to, and now she has an insubordinate crew of mavericks making her look bad.

As much as one agrees with the team on this and can roll with how they handled things, you can also sympathize with Ross with this.

Ironically, the person who took Beckett down and out was himself.

For a while, we’ve seen Beckett self-destructing a bit, but mainly causing harm to the team. But amid all the issues with Maya’s breakdown and struggles and because Beckett is the unlikable outcast, it was easy for many to dismiss his self-destruction.

And that’s why Sullivan’s ability to set emotions aside and recognize the truth of what Beckett was battling was so important.

The others — their judgment is clouded by this man they don’t like and the harm he’s caused.

But Sullivan could cut through to the heart of things commendably.

Beckett jumping through that fire wasn’t bravery. It was something else.


Beckett put up some fight when Andy took over, but he could do little on the scene as things escalated and everyone carried on with their respective tasks.

The moment he entered that fire, it was a game changer. He knew it was a risky and stupid move, but he went forward with it anyway.

But it wasn’t until he was in there, giving everything to Jose and lying there like a man who had given up, that the suicide ideation that had been subtly there for a bit came to fruition.

When Sullivan rescued him, you could see how Beckett almost looked longingly at the flames as if he wished they’d take him out.

Sullivan was right about Beckett’s 1000-yard stare and how he’s been ready to die. As the hour progressed, it was at its most transparent and unsettling.

And regardless of how anyone feels about the man, he doesn’t deserve to die, and he does deserve the help that he needs.

The season has done a fantastic job depicting the raw, ugly messiness of mental illness, addiction, and trauma. It’s not something that you can wrap up in a bow.

It’s not something you can glorify. It does look like this, ugly, seemingly unforgivable, scary, enraging, and hurtful.

It looks like Beckett every bit as much as it does Maya.

And you can see how Beckett has gotten to that place. He’s alienated himself from the rest of the team almost the entire time he’s been there. Even the people who had some access to him, however trivial, like Andy, he’s shut out.

He’s surrounded by people who don’t like him and make it known. He’s a legacy man in a dangerous field that exposes a person to unrelenting trauma, and he turns to one of the unhealthiest coping mechanisms for it — drinking, which runs in his family.

He had another person, in a classic case of “hurt people hurt people,” gift wrap a bottle of booze to him in some cruel attempt to get under his skin, and it was calling to him when he reached a breaking point.

But recently, he lost a firefighter he cared about and likely blames himself, and that guilt and survivor’s guilt, combined with all these other things, had him ready to die.

It’s heartbreaking and tragic because no one deserves that.

But after everything, precisely those moments, it seemed he recognized how much he needed help, and he’s taken off. The most disturbing thing right now is that it’s hard to tell if he genuinely intends to get help or if he’ll spend that time drowning in more booze and self-destructing even further.

Beckett may be just low enough where he’s giving 19 what they want and going home alone to crawl into a bottle, away from the scrutiny, and fade away without the audience.

But Station 19 doesn’t leave anyone behind, even someone like Beckett, so that could be an interesting setup to explore.

In the meantime, there’s also something going on with Theo, and we’re due to get to the bottom of it.

I suppose it’s his turn to be challenging in his relationship with Vic. He has a lot going on, but we aren’t privy to most of it and are in the dark like Vic is.

His ties to his old neighborhood have been enlightening. However, there’s a hold it and the community have on him that’s hard to decipher.

I, uh, I need help, chief. I spoke to my union rep and I’ve taken a leave of absence.


At times, he was almost incapable of doing his job because of his attempts to calm everyone down or respond to demands.

And there is some truth to the speculation that there are deliberate attempts to destroy the neighborhood to aid in gentrification.

He’s been so annoyed with everything lately, particularly the Beckett situation, and it’s impacted his relationship with Vic.

But she’s at least doing well on a professional front.

Vic and Diane are a duo I didn’t know I needed so desperately. They’re hilarious together, a true dynamic duo too.

It’s a gift that Diane feels that she can view Vic as a peer now. It means we get access to this whole other side of Diane that we didn’t have the privilege of knowing because she’s a professional who had to stay in that mode while guiding them through crises.

Diane is so funny; it was the first time we saw her let her hair down.

She’s also great on the spot and in the field; you can tell she’s missed that active part of the job. She was practically gleeful when she, Vic, and Carina had to help that poor woman with her antler injury.

Good Trouble‘s Emma Hunton guest-starred with one of the most bizarre cases ever. Seeing the character driving into the fire station with a deer through the windshield was utterly wild.

The antlers piercing her only made the situation crazier. But this woman spent the entire time lamenting what she gave up for her husband and much more.

One of the funniest moments of the hour was when the deer corpse spasmed, and everyone screamed and freaked out simultaneously. It was comedic gold.

Through that case and experience and with Diane’s presence, Carina got emotional about where things were between her and Maya.

The two of them are talking, which is great, but they still haven’t resolved anything or delved into the state of their relationship together.

Carina’s whole point of showing up at the station was because she hoped she’d run into Maya. She’s practically giddy like a teenager over her wife, and she even expressed that it’s like she has a crush.

Ben: What’s going on with you and Carina?
Maya: We’re not not talking?
Ben: OK, that’s what I’m talking about.

And Maya was itching to reach out to Carina and text her about her day.

They’re moving slowly, feeling things out with each other, and playing it safe and cautious, which makes sense.

But it also makes sense that Carina doesn’t know what to expect. She’s a woman who spent most of her life dealing with people and not knowing what she’d get from one moment to the next.

Even though she knew Diane couldn’t tell her things about Maya’s treatment, she wanted an idea of where Maya was in her healing journey, if it was serious and worth her putting her heart back on the line.

Carina is guarding her heart as best as possible, and you can’t fault her. She’s also reasonably paranoid about the effects she may have on Maya.

It was a genuine fear that she could be Maya’s antler, causing her harm. And poor Carina worked herself up in a frenzy about all of this.

She and Maya, barely speaking on a deeper level and circling each other like two cautious cats afraid to pounce, leave so much uncertainty in her mind.

However, things don’t feel uncertain for us as viewers. Marina may not be together in the way many fans would hope, but it still feels like they’re on solid ground and on the right path.

It’s like they’ve found a new way to give the two of them a slow burn, and those can be satisfying when handled well enough.

And the fruits of Maya’s work with Diane are apparent.

She was back in the field, which was great, and she was okay taking orders from Andy and getting back into the swing of things.

And one of her most notable moments was her honesty about giving Beckett that alcohol. It’s truly a mark of growth that she shared with the others, and it shows that she’s sympathetic and in tune with her emotions that she was guilt-ridden about how her actions could’ve led to Beckett’s fall.

As someone who was livid when that scene happened, I’m immensely pleased that Maya took ownership of her actions, describing her headspace when she did it, and showed genuine remorse.

I’m a monster. Ther’s a direct line between someone’s death and my cruelty, and I mean, what kind of person does something like that? The entire time, going to the store, finding a bottle, presenting it to him, the look on his face? I felt like I had won.


And while Beckett would’ve had these issues regardless of Maya giving him that booze, I’m glad she was willing to sit in her accountability even when Ben was trying to cheer her up and taking it easy on her.

It’s not that he wasn’t right about it not being her fault and all, and it was warranted that he’d get into that to a degree, but he was also quick to let her off the hook — everyone did, and on that end of things, it felt a tad unrealistic that no one would have a strong reaction about her actions even if she did do them when she, too, was suffering a crisis.

Nevertheless, Maya seems to be in a much healthier place.

Over to you, Station 19 Fanatics. What are your thoughts on Beckett’s actions and choice? Do you think the team will face severe consequences? Sound off below.

You can watch Station 19 online here via TV Fanatic.

Jasmine Blu is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.

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